A Handy Guide To All Those Who Missed Anything On Tumblr Today.

something something Wes Anderson.

Something something feelings, something something 30 Rock quote, something something whatever 14 year old girls are into but so are 28 year old women.

Something something a book we all read but vaguely remember. Something something nostalgia. Something something “SOCIAL FUCKING MEDIA”. Something something this-app-is-the-second-fucking-coming-of-Our-Lord-Jesus.

Picture Of Myself!

Caption.

Witty quote. Meaningful quote. Picture of a celebrity. Picture of a celebrity’s meaningful quote.

Something something “SOCIAL FUCKING MEDIA!” rebuttal from earlier. Something something taken out of context. Something something Hey, Remember The 90’s? Something something Harry Dean Stanton crying. Something something a picture stolen from Flickr. Something something self referential. Something something trying to tank your own blogging platform. Something something “hey look at my girlfriend/boyfriend/dog/cat/rarely but sometimes a lizard”. Something something Bill Murray (obviously). Something something that was too long and I didn’t read. Something something from someone I consider a friend in social setting but in reality only hung out with twice.

Picture of food.

Caption of picture of food.

Something something something an Old might say trying to understand this here internet? Something something witty internet webzine said! Something something someone just finding out who Lady Gaga is. Something something someone who doesn’t get the internet and just spurts fountains of bullshit.

Something something drug addled. Something something witty. Something Molls said. Something trending on Twitter. Something something a quote from John Lennon. Something something Tess Lynch said that was way, way funny but would take me 20 minutes to someone who didn’t know the situation. Something something where did my day go? Something something a big, giant, blue void. Something something withdrawl. Something something a giant outdoors, something something direct sunlight. Something something ‘maybe I should eat some fruit?’.

Something something checking internet on iPhone while outdoors and drinking Jamba Juice. Something something ‘SOCIAL FUCKING MEDIA!’ makes you more anti-social. Something something “pull the plug”/empty promises/remember that diet you never started/weren’t you supposed to jog everyday? Something something terrible, never ending glowing rectangles. Something something sawn-off-shotgun and ‘living off the grid’ outside of Tuscon.