Ned Hepburn - SORKIN: Nobody is going to read this. GUY: Why do...

Ned Hepburn

Editor of

Features Editor at Death & Taxes Magazine, contributor to The Week, Interview, and Vice Magazine.

$SORKIN: Nobody is going to read this. GUY: Why do you say that?SORKIN: Because nobody reads the internet. Really. Other than editors and people that want to write for the internet. Outside of the bubble that is the two or three major cities most people could really give a shit what goes into, say, The New Yorker.GUY: But its so prestigious!SORKIN: So is Denny’s when you haven’t eaten. GUY: But what about when people say you can’t write women? They have a point. SORKIN: You’re damn right they have a point. I can’t write women further than a non-astronaut can write about being an astronaut. Some people have particular skill sets. You can’t expect my skillset to appeal to everyone with a television set. That’s just not true. GUY: But what about your show that’s full of big, show-off monologues? SORKIN: Find me a guy behind a keyboard and I’ll show you a show-off monologue waiting to be written. GUY: So you’re saying that the backlash is unfounded?SORKIN: Basically. GUY: Is that why it’s being written in a text box by a guy in a coffeeshop who feels, somehow, that he must “defend” you? SORKIN: It’s pretty homoerotic. NED: But I just like this kind of writing!SORKIN: Yeah, but still, man. I’m kind of a dick that doesn’t really understand women or women’s equality all that well. It’s been proven in nearly every interview this year. But that still doesn’t make The Newsroom – as a show and nothing else – any worse a show. I’m sorry. It doesn’t. It’s still a good show. You can make something and be a dick and still have what you made be “good.” NED: Great now my own mind is turning against me. SORKIN: Maybe we’re all just assholes who can’t be expected to make anybody else happy but ourselves.GUY: Yeah. NED: Where’s my book deal? SORKIN: Stop blogging. You’re the last of the ‘08 crowd to be here on Tumblr. Everyone else stopped so they could turn professional. NED: First I get broken up with by someone’s religious parents and now here I am in a coffee shop being yelled at by my own mind. SORKIN: See, you can’t write something you don’t know. Do you think I could get away with writing, say, The Joy Luck Club? No. GUY: He has a point.SORKIN: The Joy Luck Club… With Dicks. NED: I think I saw that on YouPorn. SORKIN: See, all your jokes have to do with alcohol and YouPorn.NED: I write what I know.SORKIN: We’ve become a people of reactions and not a people of actions. GUY: Oooo I like that one. NED: I hope people calm down one day and stop getting “outraged” over things that they have no reason getting “outraged” over. So Aaron Sorkin can’t write women characters. Lena Dunham can’t really write male characters but nobody gives her shit for it. SORKIN: That’s because white male writers have had literally hundreds of years in the sunlight. GUY: It will all even out eventually.SORKIN: Or we could just keep being fractured by our own delicate sensibilities and narcissism… instead of letting things not bother us. NED: I think that the ‘being fractured by own own sensibilities’ part has got a way more likely chance of happening.$

SORKIN: Nobody is going to read this.
GUY: Why do you say that?
SORKIN: Because nobody reads the internet. Really. Other than editors and people that want to write for the internet. Outside of the bubble that is the two or three major cities most people could really give a shit what goes into, say, The New Yorker.
GUY: But its so prestigious!
SORKIN: So is Denny’s when you haven’t eaten.
GUY: But what about when people say you can’t write women? They have a point.
SORKIN: You’re damn right they have a point. I can’t write women further than a non-astronaut can write about being an astronaut. Some people have particular skill sets. You can’t expect my skillset to appeal to everyone with a television set. That’s just not true.
GUY: But what about your show that’s full of big, show-off monologues?
SORKIN: Find me a guy behind a keyboard and I’ll show you a show-off monologue waiting to be written.
GUY: So you’re saying that the backlash is unfounded?
SORKIN: Basically.
GUY: Is that why it’s being written in a text box by a guy in a coffeeshop who feels, somehow, that he must “defend” you?
SORKIN: It’s pretty homoerotic.
NED: But I just like this kind of writing!
SORKIN: Yeah, but still, man. I’m kind of a dick that doesn’t really understand women or women’s equality all that well. It’s been proven in nearly every interview this year. But that still doesn’t make The Newsroom – as a show and nothing else – any worse a show. I’m sorry. It doesn’t. It’s still a good show. You can make something and be a dick and still have what you made be “good.”
NED: Great now my own mind is turning against me.
SORKIN: Maybe we’re all just assholes who can’t be expected to make anybody else happy but ourselves.
GUY: Yeah.
NED: Where’s my book deal?
SORKIN: Stop blogging. You’re the last of the ‘08 crowd to be here on Tumblr. Everyone else stopped so they could turn professional.
NED: First I get broken up with by someone’s religious parents and now here I am in a coffee shop being yelled at by my own mind.
SORKIN: See, you can’t write something you don’t know. Do you think I could get away with writing, say, The Joy Luck Club? No.
GUY: He has a point.
SORKIN: The Joy Luck Club… With Dicks.
NED: I think I saw that on YouPorn.
SORKIN: See, all your jokes have to do with alcohol and YouPorn.
NED: I write what I know.
SORKIN: We’ve become a people of reactions and not a people of actions.
GUY: Oooo I like that one.
NED: I hope people calm down one day and stop getting “outraged” over things that they have no reason getting “outraged” over. So Aaron Sorkin can’t write women characters. Lena Dunham can’t really write male characters but nobody gives her shit for it.
SORKIN: That’s because white male writers have had literally hundreds of years in the sunlight.
GUY: It will all even out eventually.
SORKIN: Or we could just keep being fractured by our own delicate sensibilities and narcissism… instead of letting things not bother us.
NED: I think that the ‘being fractured by own own sensibilities’ part has got a way more likely chance of happening.

9 Jul 2012 / 51 notes

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hydeordie said: I am outraged by the ‘08 comment Ned Mind’s Sorkin, I AM STILL HERE DAMNIT!
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