ned hepburn

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is a 25 year old writer. i write for the Vice blog and do a couple record reviews for Bust Magazine. email me at nedhepburn AT gmail DOT com.

tv & new media agent: Brandon Martinez at Abrams Artists / / / / /

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things i will do if the dream dies

• open up a taco stand in Paris. there is no mexican food in paris.
• open up a BLT stand in New York.
• learn all the words to every Andrew Lloyd Weber song ever and have people pay me to NOT sing them.
• buy a pot to piss in, because when i lose it and end up wandering the streets people won’t be able to say “there goes Ned. he used to have it together but now he doesn’t have a pot to piss in”.
• find, marry, Natalie Portman. not THE Natalie Portman. just “a” Natalie Portman.

KEEP THE DREAM ALIIIIIIVE. SIGN THE LEASE. FULL STEAM AHEAD, HEPBURN.