Good news, guys! BuzzFeed is a pile of shit. Jezebel will do nothing but get you angry at people, for no reason. Gawker will explain what you like to yourself. Spiltsider will explain the joke. Did you comment on The Awl? Now’s your chance. Be sure to go off-topic!
Is there an end to the internet? Did you really find it? Is online piracy really holding back the web’s full potential? Is there a popular term for something that really bugs you? You should talk about it because in no way does that further it.
D0 y0u sp34k l33t? It’s fun to explain at parties (not really). Do you like the band Filter? So does everyone else. They’re here, on the internet, day and night, tucking you into bed, nipping whiskey in your morning coffee. This will go really well when you start that emotion-fueled blog posting series, only to be later deleted and kept only as a memory to those who read it and to Google cache.
Have a potty mouth? Now’s a good time to start. Have a folder full of dead bodies? Go ahead and post ‘em. Have a unique talent you wish to share with the world? Fucking keep it to yourself, there’s pictures of naked faux celebrities to ogle.