Ned Hepburn

“He’s thinner, he’s better looking, he’s younger. But you asked me if I had anyone who could play me in a movie … why not go for Brad Pitt?”

Newt Gingrich, during an interview on the “Rich Stevens Radio Show.”

  • because Brad Pitt doesn’t hate black people, gay people, or poor people.
  • because Brad Pitt has a beating heart.
  • because Brad Pitt doesn’t look like a bloated scrotum.
  • because Brad Pitt didn’t leave two wives (back to back!!!) FOR HAVING (not ‘because they happened to have’, no, he left them FOR HAVING) cancer and multiple sclerosis. 
  • because Brad Pitt isn’t completely dead inside.
  • because no-one has ever asked “could Brad Pitt actually be Satan?” “what did we do to deserve Brad Pitt?” or “why does Brad Pitt hate living things?”.
  • why am i defending Brad Pitt

(via washingtonpoststyle)

Notes

  1. rosethorn23 reblogged this from officialssay
  2. leebasays reblogged this from cheatsheet and added:
    He’s delusional.
  3. cynicallyalgid reblogged this from escalator-wit
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  5. beiruttojupiter reblogged this from officialssay and added:
    (In case anyone didn’t know Newt was full of himself…)
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