Ned Hepburn

High-res I reviewed “Born To Die”, the debut album from the much derided Lana Del Ray, for Death & Taxes Magazine. Here’s the beginning: How can something like this exist? Let’s think about that for a second. There was an event, millions of years ago, and through chance or perhaps divine inspiration the world as we knew it solidified and the oceans began. And then thousands upon thousands of years later an amoeba happens, and somehow it crawls out of the swamp and then, dinosaurs. Fucking dinosaurs! Think about it! There were fucking dinosaurs right where you are now! So the dinosaurs die because of a giant meteor and then monkeys and then people. Then there were a whole bunch of people. And then there were smart people. And then there were stupid people. And then there was war, and famine, and abuse of power. And somehow, people drifted to different parts of the globe and settled and now we’ve pretty much filled out the whole planet except for the oceans but that’ll probably happen sooner or later and pretty soon we might actually go live on another planet. But that will come later. What’s happening now is Lana Del Rey released an album that sounds so completely fucking mental that it simply shouldn’t exist. It sounds like the soundtrack to a James Bond movie directed by and starring twelve year olds. Click here for the full review.

I reviewed “Born To Die”, the debut album from the much derided Lana Del Ray, for Death & Taxes Magazine. Here’s the beginning:

How can something like this exist?

Let’s think about that for a second. There was an event, millions of years ago, and through chance or perhaps divine inspiration the world as we knew it solidified and the oceans began. And then thousands upon thousands of years later an amoeba happens, and somehow it crawls out of the swamp and then, dinosaurs. Fucking dinosaurs! Think about it! There were fucking dinosaurs right where you are now!

So the dinosaurs die because of a giant meteor and then monkeys and then people. Then there were a whole bunch of people. And then there were smart people. And then there were stupid people. And then there was war, and famine, and abuse of power.

And somehow, people drifted to different parts of the globe and settled and now we’ve pretty much filled out the whole planet except for the oceans but that’ll probably happen sooner or later and pretty soon we might actually go live on another planet. But that will come later. What’s happening now is Lana Del Rey released an album that sounds so completely fucking mental that it simply shouldn’t exist. It sounds like the soundtrack to a James Bond movie directed by and starring twelve year olds.

Click here for the full review.

Notes

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    Visiblement, Death & Taxes Magazine adore Lana Del Rey :...How can something like this...
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