Explaining The Best Picture Nominations.
- Hugo.
Martin Scorcese makes a film about a young French boy who learns about the magic of early filmmaking; also attempts to save a twelve year old prostitute (Jodie Foster) from her pimp. - The Descendants.
You were expecting a documentary about the punk group of the same name and this is not that. - Moneyball.
A 90 minute close-up of Mark Zuckerberg’s right testicle. - Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close
“America is totally ready to relive 9/11 and have Woody from Toy Story die in it, too” - actual movie producers - War Horse.
Not “War Whores”, surprisingly. - The Help.
America falls in love with screen darling Emma Stone; black people. - Midnight In Paris.
Woody Allen has Owen Wilson narrate his Flickr account while Marion Cotillard and Lea Seydoux further cement my flapper fetish. - The Artist.
The only time a dog and a French person with a giant head have ever been charming. - The Tree Of Life.
Nobody has seen this movie.
Notes
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