Ned Hepburn

bonerparty: Boner Party mention on Gawker. well that’s nice of them, isnt it? THE BONER PARTY BOOK AND WHAT IT COULD MEAN FOR AMERICA: an audiobook version, read by (in order of preference): Morgan Freeman, Patton Oswalt, Holly Hunter, Michael McDonald. a pop-up book of various boners from around the world. so the kids can learn! freeform poetry written in middle earth english, packaged in a leather bound tome to be toted by wolf-shirt-wearing ne’er-do-wells throughout the halls of their high school. “Where The Sidewalk Ends”-esque story book for children with the overall moral being “its not what you’ve got, its where you stick it”. commercial tie in with chilli-dog magnates Weinerschitzel; “Boner Party” toys in every kids meal; toys depicting various B and C list actresses reactions to being “bonerized” on the site. Morgan Freeman does a reading tour via impromptu and seemingly random appearances at coffee shops, biker bars, and taco trucks throughout Los Angeles county. Boner Party TOTALLY SELLS OUT and lends our name and likeness to The Gap; Fall/Winter ‘09 fashion line almost totally inspired by eighteen seconds of Natalie Imbruglia’s “Torn” music video after we sleep on the deadline after spending all of our money on top quality drugs and venison tacos. Fashion historians mention SNAFU forevermore as “The Boner Party Jean-Skirt Incident”. Boner Party Lunchbox fails to sell as “box” pun fails to be noticed; product ships with a plastic vaginal likeness in leiu of Thermos after company executives fail to understand the obscure and childish switcheroo. Zooey Deschanel’s ego so overblown by such frequent site mentions that she signs on for “Boner Party: The Movie” starring Brian Dennehey as “Lord Böner” and Susan Sarandon as “Cougatron”; movie garners so much money that seventeen sequels are made. Boner Party ends up being the futures only hope. basically, the final scene of Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey come to actuality. Boners beat Death in a game of Battleship, all is well with the world.

bonerparty:

Boner Party mention on Gawker.

well that’s nice of them, isnt it?

THE BONER PARTY BOOK AND WHAT IT COULD MEAN FOR AMERICA:

  • an audiobook version, read by (in order of preference): Morgan Freeman, Patton Oswalt, Holly Hunter, Michael McDonald.
  • a pop-up book of various boners from around the world. so the kids can learn!
  • freeform poetry written in middle earth english, packaged in a leather bound tome to be toted by wolf-shirt-wearing ne’er-do-wells throughout the halls of their high school.
  • “Where The Sidewalk Ends”-esque story book for children with the overall moral being “its not what you’ve got, its where you stick it”.
  • commercial tie in with chilli-dog magnates Weinerschitzel; “Boner Party” toys in every kids meal; toys depicting various B and C list actresses reactions to being “bonerized” on the site.
  • Morgan Freeman does a reading tour via impromptu and seemingly random appearances at coffee shops, biker bars, and taco trucks throughout Los Angeles county.
  • Boner Party TOTALLY SELLS OUT and lends our name and likeness to The Gap; Fall/Winter ‘09 fashion line almost totally inspired by eighteen seconds of Natalie Imbruglia’s “Torn” music video after we sleep on the deadline after spending all of our money on top quality drugs and venison tacos. Fashion historians mention SNAFU forevermore as “The Boner Party Jean-Skirt Incident”.
  • Boner Party Lunchbox fails to sell as “box” pun fails to be noticed; product ships with a plastic vaginal likeness in leiu of Thermos after company executives fail to understand the obscure and childish switcheroo.
  • Zooey Deschanel’s ego so overblown by such frequent site mentions that she signs on for “Boner Party: The Movie” starring Brian Dennehey as “Lord Böner” and Susan Sarandon as “Cougatron”; movie garners so much money that seventeen sequels are made.
  • Boner Party ends up being the futures only hope. basically, the final scene of Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey come to actuality. Boners beat Death in a game of Battleship, all is well with the world.

Notes

  1. feelingsaregross reblogged this from nickdouglas
  2. nickdouglas reblogged this from nedhepburn and added:
    ned hepburn on Boner Party book potential