Ned Hepburn

High-res - PHONE RINGS.  ZOOEY: The eagle is in the basket.NED: What?ZOOEY: It’s code, dumbass. NED: Zooey? Why are you ca… OH. NO WAY. ZOOEY: Yahweh. NED: On a Tuesday?ZOOEY: What the fuck is Epic Magazine and what happened to Boner Party?NED: It wasn’t the same without you. You were my rock. My muse. My north. ZOOEY: So you “moved on” to Natalie Portman. I read all that. What the fuck was that about? People read this shit, dude. It’s the internet. Imaginary girlfriends are for Japanese businessmen with severe repression issues. NED: I was drunk for - like - an entire year. You’re right.  ZOOEY: Do you even still live in LA? NED: Well, no… ZOOEY: This is rich. I divorce Catface Meowmers and my affable stalker is pretending he’s Kerouac up and down the East Coast.

- PHONE RINGS. 

ZOOEY: The eagle is in the basket.
NED: What?
ZOOEY: It’s code, dumbass. 
NED: Zooey? Why are you ca… OH. NO WAY. 
ZOOEY: Yahweh. 
NED: On a Tuesday?
ZOOEY: What the fuck is Epic Magazine and what happened to Boner Party?
NED: It wasn’t the same without you. You were my rock. My muse. My north. 
ZOOEY: So you “moved on” to Natalie Portman. I read all that. What the fuck was that about? People read this shit, dude. It’s the internet. Imaginary girlfriends are for Japanese businessmen with severe repression issues. 
NED: I was drunk for - like - an entire year. You’re right.  
ZOOEY: Do you even still live in LA?
NED: Well, no…
ZOOEY: This is rich. I divorce Catface Meowmers and my affable stalker is pretending he’s Kerouac up and down the East Coast.

Notes

  1. pithyaphorisms reblogged this from nedhepburn
  2. flatteryoconnor said: Thank you for knowing what Catface Meowmers is.