ACTUAL CONVERSATION I HAD WHEN I WAS 8:
ME: Why is the band called Queen?
DAD: Because, um, they really, really like the Queen, Ned.
ME: …
DAD: …
ME: Why did Freddie Mercury die?
DAD: …
ME: …
DAD: He got AIDS.
ME: How do you get AIDS?
DAD: (not wanting to explain STDs) He, uh, was sharing needles.
ME: Well that was generous of him.
DAD: It was.
ME: When I get AIDS, I’ll share my needles.
DAD: …
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