Bill Hicks

3:54 am  •  9 September 2010  •  9 notes

Someone told me once not to write something until it scares you and goddam if it doesn’t make sense. Have what you will. Talk hard. And fuck those in your wake.

2:36 am  •  9 September 2010  •  5 notes

sulkingworthington:

Thanks, Ned.

Sulking Sam is the new Sad Keanu.

7:57 pm  •  8 September 2010  •  12 notes

The problem with skinny jeans is that everyone starts to look like bad puppets. I mean, it was fun for a while, wasn’t it? We all got to walk around Shakespeare style with bulges and camels aplenty - making nightclubs seem like a disturbing Yosemite of outline-visible genitalia; a deranged set of evermoving peaks and valleys in our Levis 510’s to the beat of Justice, Daft Punk, and for some, fifth-wave ska revivalists*. 

But the time has come.

While a select few may point to the skinny jean as their cultural zenith and high water mark, there is simply no reason to walk around anymore looking a Shakespearean actor tiptoeing through a room of mousetraps and sleeping babies**. There is no reason that I should look be able to look at the cut of your jib - so to speak - and find out not just how large you are but what religion, too***.

Much like food left on the floor: we let the bros get to it. They’ll get at anything we leave out and don’t clean up right away****. Now every brodog with a checking account can, too, make themselves look like the fight-or-fight gutter punk Dischord Records fan that the skinny jean style that we see today is a direct descendant from. Unless you see him at the Ian Sloveneious reading behind the co-op, Trent McFistyPumpin does not give a damn about “The Cause” (capital T, capital C)*****.

Take back what is yours. Start wearing bomber jackets before they do. Better yet? Just be ahead of them at every step of the curve******. Why, in two years there will be - AND LIKE MENS WEARHOUSE I GARUN-FUCKING-TEE IT - a huuuuge influx of brosephs and brosephines all aching for the sounds of plaintive folk warbling like that of Bon Iver, Fleet Foxes, Devendra, Joanna, Mutt & Jeff, etc et cetera Peter Cetera ad infinitum. This is natural: as any moment will not last forever. As fedoras and boat shoes before*******, such is the way of the Bro. We must, we must, we must increase our bust be strong, and vigilant, for at any time the Bro may strike.

You must get out while you still can, reader. They need you, but not you them. Stop the skinny jean now and move slowly but firmly towards the 501’s. They look good on anyone. Even babies********. You’ll have time to settle down when you’re in your 30’s. For now, keep moving in your likes and dislikes*********.

*This occured only in Colorado and an area in Michigan where their internet went out for four straight months.

** “Skinny jeans make anyone even slightly overweight look like Kermit The Frog from the waist down”  - Vice

*** Funnily enough, no mosques near this ground zero!!!† 

**** Get the spray! Where did you leave the spray? Under the sink? Oh god they’re eeeevvvveerrryyyywwwhhheeerrreeee.

***** Nobody over 13 knows what ‘The Cause’ actually is except two of the four founding members from NOFX.

****** For this, perhaps consider a membership at the aptly named Curves. I have no idea what they do, but the name sounds right.

******* See also: indie music, the internet, television, movies, having children, not having children, the Sunday night HBO lineup, Brooklyn, public schools, Los Angeles (west of Fairfax), coffee, bacon, obesity, childhood, drinking, not drinking, drugs, not doing drugs, frogurt.

******** Even Hipster Babies.

********* Moving is something that is hard to do in skinny jeans.

† We’ve got a great show for you tonight! Bonnie Rait is here! Stick around! < / Leno >

6:01 pm  •  8 September 2010  •  25 notes

I just got off the phone with Dove World Outreach Center, the “church” that’s pulling the ‘Burn The Koran’ stunt on the anniversary of 9/11.

It’s a for-profit church that runs a furniture business out of the back of the building. They have an eBay store. They’re a rather small church of around 50 congregants. That’s… fifty. Not five thousand. Not five hundred. Fifty.

This stunt is, fundamentally, about fundraising for the church, who recently lost their tax-exempt status due to their for-profit furniture store business that they run on the same property as the church. Via the view of pastor Terry Jones (who was not available for comment for my particular story, anyway) that Islam is “evil”, they basically created this media stunt and from what I gather in the tonality and word-choice of the women I spoke to is already overwhelming them with the incredible sheer number of people that oppose it.

There appears to be two different people running the phone lines there, one of whom admitted to having knowledge of more than one of the children of members of the congregation currently fighting in Afghanistan and the dangers that it might pose, but that “fighting the evils of Islam” is their churches “top priority”. Other than that, they hung up after two minutes. I’ll post the audio later if I get the chance. 

Interesting how it only really takes a couple of assholes to cause such a commotion.

11:14 am  •  8 September 2010  •  110 notes

Mudhoney ‘In N’ Out Of Grace’

10:42 am  •  8 September 2010  •  4 notes

10 Reasons Why L.A. Is the Coolest City on the Planet: Travel Features: GQ

My friend and fellow freelancer Brett Martin did the massive ‘L.A is the city of the year 2010’ article for this months GQ. I still think he missed Hot Wings on Melrose. It’s still a solid overview, though.

9:59 am  •  8 September 2010  •  53 notes

Peanuts, by Charles Bukowski.
by Hanstock.

10:52 pm  •  7 September 2010  •  38 notes

John Lennon ‘Be My Baby’
Ronettes cover

9:47 pm  •  7 September 2010  •  33 notes

Ikara Colt ‘May B 1 Day’

6:51 pm  •  7 September 2010  •  12 notes