There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.
The real “war on Christmas” is when Americans spend $450 billion on Christmas; however, it would take only $20 billion to ensure that all people in the world could have access to clean water for a year.
Have one glass of wine more than you should and try to steal something small from the location of the party before the end of the night. Maybe enlist your newfound manpanion in on the action when you decide that “we have to steal all of the Q-tips, don’t ask questions.” Men live for that shit. We all live for that shit. It’s called living in the moment and being spontaneous. Don’t overdo it and become an overly whimsical manic pixie wank-fantasy Amelie clone, but have some fun.